Friday, September 29, 2006
DAY TWENTY-FOUR: PROVIDENCE IV
Lazy hang-out day with Jen. We get to White Electric Coffee before noon. I insist on dragging out a poorly executed comment I made in order to understand roles we've played for one another and if they continue to be useful. That's another way of saying we had an awkward and emotionally-infused exchange, then talked more in-depth about what Jen has been struggling with recently. I can't claim to bring things up with style or grace.
Providence is a small city and Jen reminds me of some of the things that goaded me to leave after three years of living here. The city shines in my memories of it. My stay so far has left me with thoughts that I could live here again, even questioning what urban environment best suits me. But that's crap. I've always adapted to whatever place I've lived.
After errands, including a pick-up of photos from Milwaukee, we run on Blackstone Boulevard before the day turns cold. Scott returns from Newport, and we eat sushi at Tokyo. I somehow order twice what I meant to, but ingest all of it. Later, we go to opening night of "The Science of Sleep" and I emerge enervated. I make chocolate chip cookies at home and Jen and I watch "Sex and the City" with our guts hanging out.
Scott and Jen have been seeing each other for 7 years and are the oldest (in age and length) couple I've visited during the project. This visit has allowed me to see their relationship more in depth than I have in the past. They strike a dynamic and complicated balance. As with the past residencies, I see two individuals coexisting with success and failure, and they own their decision to be with one another. I enjoy being around them, can empathize with their problems, but know it's strictly tailored to the two of them...
I'm not quite sure what I'm trying to express... something about the hermetic nature of relationships that have left me wondering at weddings what I have any right to say to the bride and groom. "Good luck!" "Hope you don't divorce!" Whatever, what do I have to do with their personal relationship? But then relationships are messy and easily sprawl in to public space and intertwine the two (public and private) in a way that isn't quite apparent until they end. Then so many more people are implicated, in widening circles. So, I do have something to do with Scott and Jen's relationship. But it's not tangible and I can't describe it.
Maybe it's as simple as the wedding publicizes the relationship and the guests agree to be complicit in the situation. Though... marraige isn't neccessary in what I'm thinking about. Relationships are complicated universes that contract and expand upon the slightest shift. Constant negotiation and navigation. Michel Gondry (writer/director of above film) probably helped throw me into this muddle of thoughts. Merci, baiseur.
Lazy hang-out day with Jen. We get to White Electric Coffee before noon. I insist on dragging out a poorly executed comment I made in order to understand roles we've played for one another and if they continue to be useful. That's another way of saying we had an awkward and emotionally-infused exchange, then talked more in-depth about what Jen has been struggling with recently. I can't claim to bring things up with style or grace.
Providence is a small city and Jen reminds me of some of the things that goaded me to leave after three years of living here. The city shines in my memories of it. My stay so far has left me with thoughts that I could live here again, even questioning what urban environment best suits me. But that's crap. I've always adapted to whatever place I've lived.
After errands, including a pick-up of photos from Milwaukee, we run on Blackstone Boulevard before the day turns cold. Scott returns from Newport, and we eat sushi at Tokyo. I somehow order twice what I meant to, but ingest all of it. Later, we go to opening night of "The Science of Sleep" and I emerge enervated. I make chocolate chip cookies at home and Jen and I watch "Sex and the City" with our guts hanging out.
Scott and Jen have been seeing each other for 7 years and are the oldest (in age and length) couple I've visited during the project. This visit has allowed me to see their relationship more in depth than I have in the past. They strike a dynamic and complicated balance. As with the past residencies, I see two individuals coexisting with success and failure, and they own their decision to be with one another. I enjoy being around them, can empathize with their problems, but know it's strictly tailored to the two of them...
I'm not quite sure what I'm trying to express... something about the hermetic nature of relationships that have left me wondering at weddings what I have any right to say to the bride and groom. "Good luck!" "Hope you don't divorce!" Whatever, what do I have to do with their personal relationship? But then relationships are messy and easily sprawl in to public space and intertwine the two (public and private) in a way that isn't quite apparent until they end. Then so many more people are implicated, in widening circles. So, I do have something to do with Scott and Jen's relationship. But it's not tangible and I can't describe it.
Maybe it's as simple as the wedding publicizes the relationship and the guests agree to be complicit in the situation. Though... marraige isn't neccessary in what I'm thinking about. Relationships are complicated universes that contract and expand upon the slightest shift. Constant negotiation and navigation. Michel Gondry (writer/director of above film) probably helped throw me into this muddle of thoughts. Merci, baiseur.
